To Gain Peace, You Have to Let Go of People Turning Your Life Into a Mess!

To gain peace, you have to let go of the people who are turning your life into a mess!

I belong to the part of the world where your family often chooses who you are to marry. My family arranged a marriage for me. I eventually became quite fond of the man they chose for me. We developed a good chemistry together and came to understand each other. The first two months of our relationship were out of this world. After those first lovely months, our relationship came under attack from his ex-girlfriend. I had no idea about her until she discovered our arrangement to be married. She meddled in our relationship and tried to break us up with unreasonable, made-up stories about me. I was hurt because my soon to be husband partly believed some of the lies she was saying. His ex-girlfriend began blackmailing and threatening him.

In our culture having an affair or past relationship was not acceptable. I supported my fiancé telling him, “I’m okay with your past as long as it doesn’t haunt our future.” I insisted he stop communicating with her immediately. He was relieved and thankful I was supporting him.

I expected him to handle things like a man and get rid of the woman he claimed he no longer loved. He told me he loved me insanely. He continued to listen to his ex-girlfriend and her lies causing me to be constantly stressed out. Understandably, I felt very insecure. I believed him when he said he did not have any contact with her but his loving attitude toward me never returned. His previous relationship became a constant source of conflict between us.

I continued to be faithful to him and hoped our relationship would resume how to the way it was before his ex-girlfriend entered the picture. I stayed in this relationship for another year before I finally ended things. I realized he had been secretly delaying our marriage because of her. I believe he was waiting for her to get married first so she would be out of our way. My trust in him was gone. I couldn’t move on in a relationship with zero trust.

It was very hard for me to let go of the man I loved. I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing by abandoning our relationship. I expected to be completely shattered and broken after our break-up. I was mentally prepared for it, but something strange and very unexpected happened when we broke up.   A magic and miraculous peace prevailed over me the moment we parted – completely unlike what I had expected. At that point, I realized this wasn’t the wrong decision at all. I believed the strength and peace I felt within me came from Allah.

Initially, I would have moments of depression and miss him crazily. But then, I would also have a strong sense of satisfaction. With the passage of time, I came to know more of the secrets he had hidden from me. I found out he was still communicating with his ex and many others. I was proud of myself for choosing not to live with a man who chose not to protect himself and his girlfriend from his ex.   The more I came to know about him, the happier I became for making that difficult decision to break it off with him. Initially, after the breakup life was difficult, but with the support of my family and friends I recovered fairly quickly. I resumed my life. I restarted my studies, met new people, and made new friends. I now felt more joyous and alive.

I learned a lot about myself during this relationship crisis. I discovered some aspects about myself I never knew before.

• My belief in God grew very strong. I am 100% convinced that God wants something better for me that I have yet to see. He will bless me with it when the time is right. He only wanted me to learn some lessons about myself I may not have learned if I hadn’t met this man.

• I realized I shouldn’t waste time on a man who couldn’t protect me and give me a sense of security. I restarted my life with hope and positivity. I fell but I stood back up again, growing stronger in a new way.

• I practiced patience. I didn’t let bitterness get the best of me and become vengeful. I have moved on to a better me.

I have realized not everything you are fond of, fancy or love is in your best interest. Sometimes, you have to let go of things and people you love to find your inner peace. You must first love yourself to survive and find peace and happiness in this world.

B.A.