She Work
The road to becoming a responsible, productive, amazing, and inspiring father may be a scenic route to some, but for others, it’s not always a pretty one. This is the story of an abused child of a single mother, growing up in a world of hurt, pain, and strife. Yes, it’s my story; I’ve endured things no child should ever have to experience. Although my measly means echoed nothing less than being impoverished and the crime-riddled backdrop of my story isn’t a glorious one, I can yet say, by sheer will and determination, along with a dose of mercy and grace, I’ve become a symbol of victory!
Most people have various things they had to overcome during the course of their lives. Some dealt with harsh realities and others not so much. But what is considered hell to some could also be straight-up heaven to others. Each individual has their God-given right to express or tell their story in whatever way they choose. One way for me to express my story is through the platform of music.
The genesis of my childhood was definitely not heaven. My mother worked whatever odd jobs she could find to provide for my brother and me. She worked long hours, and to deal with the pressures of life and disappointments, she self-medicated with pain pills and alcohol. A mother, by nature, fiercely protects her child or children. In my case, my mother constantly beat me. Again, it wasn’t a pleasant home life. Although she beat my brother as well, I seemed to have become the object of her venting. Her anger towards others, including my father, or whatever boyfriend she was dating at the time, was taken out on me, an innocent child whose only mistake was being available to be on the receiving end of her brutality.
If she was having a bad day, I was in danger of being physically abused…AGAIN! It started with belts, then hangers, phone cords, and fists. The beatings became more intense as I got older. I tried to mentally rationalize the abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother by convincing myself that all kids get whippings from their parents. “That’s just what parents do!” From an early age, I thought my name was “Motherfucker”! Why? Because that’s what I was referred to so many times, that’s who I thought I was.
My brother, I thought, was one lucky guy. One day his dad came and got custody of him. You can say it was lucky for him, but bad for me. Now I had no one to share the beatings with. So naturally, I was punished more and severely. My living environment was so unstable that I was shuttled from home to home nine different times. Then one day, my dad, whom I hardly knew, came to my rescue and I ended up moving in with him.
Finally, I had the father I always wanted and needed. My father had fought in the Vietnam War, and it had definitely taken a toll on him mentally. I soon was discovering more about my dad; he was a substance abuser, too! To my dismay, my hopes and dreams of having a stable home and great father in my life were short-lived. And even though it was rough, I respect my mother for raising my brother and me. She tried to do her best with what she had and knew.
The Bible tells us to honor our mother and father, and I lived by that. I had to learn how to come to terms with the blows life dealt me, and I used those experiences to break the cycle of abuse and raise some amazing children of my own. They have been trained to be their best. They have never been abused. They have been taught values, great social skills, and most importantly, how to love and treat others. From the ashes of the personal hell of my youth, I was able to rise up above my circumstances and become a great musician, producer, and successful businessman.
Yes, this is my story and a story that is relatable to many others. Single mothers are the backbone of the family structure and our communities. I salute all single mothers who used their power within to overcome the impossible!
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