Beauty Inside and Out

Have you ever had someone say something to you and it’s like a slap? It wakes you up and makes you pay attention? Shortly after my 40th birthday when I was questioning my aging looks, my sweet husband said “What’s the deal, you’re going to turn 80 and still think you’re ugly? Get over it.” SLAP, SLAP! I sat there in stunned silence, realizing he was right. Had I ever thought in my entire life I was beautiful? And why not?

This is my Achilles heel, the issue that I will struggle with my whole life. When we hit 40 and get on the scale we realize, oh I was thin when I was 20. But I spent my 20’s and 30’s thinking I was ugly too. I have wasted so much time and energy on my outward appearance, what have I missed? The energy I’ve spent hating myself could be used for the good of the world. When you are so blocked by one issue ,it takes up energetic space you could be harnessing to effect change in yourself and those around you.

So, how do you shift all of those negative internal thoughts? What are those anyways? If you break yourself into pieces you have your ego, personality, lower self and higher self. The kicker is the ego wants to win over the higher self. It’s like you have to retrain your first reaction of “I’m ugly to I’m beautiful.” What has worked for me is by tapping in to something I love, when you do that your higher self starts to prevail. I realized that if I didn’t love myself, then how could others?

I learned all of this five years ago when my friend Julie and now friend Kelly saved me. They insisted that I go to healing school, that I had a gift to share with the world. I thought they were NUTS! I had four children, one who was 18 months. But I also knew that I was stuck in my day-to-day hamster wheel, I was exhausted, and I didn’t feel good on the inside. So I went and my first step was seeing my life for what it truly was. I had lost me in all of my caring for everyone else. This is easy to do when you don’t love yourself.

The big AHA moment was that the journey to loving yourself is within YOU. I’ve stopped looking for the outside world to define true beauty. My soul is beautiful, I love big, I take care of what comes my way and live in integrity and truth. I donate what I can to the community and those in need. I listen. I practice loving kindness. I have come home to myself and I AM BEAUTIFUL.

– Peg Rodrigues