The Heart of Your Soul

Sandcastles and daydreams. Just walking along the pier, wondering if the manatees are there today. I enjoy watching them in the water with their babies; they seem so free. Something that I wish I could be…

I am in such a beautiful place with my beautiful family. I should be free. I have moved forward so well from five years ago. Yet my heart still hurts. I am still grieving. When does the pain stop? Grieving is like the ocean, it comes in waves. You take each day as it comes.

It was a dream for my husband, and myself to buy a beautiful home in the country. So we did. Beautiful property, and our neighbors were at least a mile away or more. The view was so breathtaking. We had nature all around us, and I could garden to my heart’s delight.

Seems being in the country was not as freeing as I thought it would be. Our new neighbors found us quickly. They were quite curious about us, our family, and our valuables. We had our hands full over the next five years and put our home up for sale. We had had enough of the poor values. We did not not want to raise our children here.

One day, my husband left for work as usual, and the kids were at school. I just had my little one at home with me. Looking out the window, I noticed I was being watched. I was really suspicious. Listening to my intuitive instincts, it didn’t feel good. There was a knock at the door; it was one of the local teens. He was very unstable. But I never though he would hurt me.

I wonder what would have happened if I would have just called the police on my suspicions. But no, I didn’t…and wish I had.

I protected my four-year-old and took the brunt of it. Somehow, in the struggle, we managed to make it outside and yell for help. I have always worked with angels and know that Archangel Michael heard my call. The next thing I knew, my son and I were in someone’s arms, being told the ambulance was on its way.

The fire engines were also called. My son was close with me, and my husband was being called. All of a sudden, our little country peace was no more.

My house was burned down. I had second-degree burns and stab wounds. My son was untouched. Just scared. I was flown by helicopter to our Hamilton Hospital burn unit. I was in a medicated coma for a few days. As far as my virtue, it was taken, too.

I woke up to see my family by my side, in shock. Was I dreaming? Should I go back to sleep?

Yet when I woke up, I felt so different within myself. I felt that I had vibrated to a higher plane and was not the same Nicole that I was before. I was not the same healer that I was before.

When I was able to get around more and was able to go to the bathroom by myself, I happened to see the bruises on my swollen face and realized they weren’t mine. They were someone else’s.

Going through our legal system and trying to get help from our politicians was extremely disappointing. Seems the violent offender received so much more attention. We felt like our family had been put aside. He has stayed in a juvenile facility. He was only 17 years old. He will be looking for parole really soon. Our own politicians have let us down. Our own victim services have let us down. I had to find my own help. It took me a while. But we found the right person to help myself and my son. We had so many doors closed on our faces. We had just had enough. All this did was bring more pain and suffering to us.

Five years later, we have all changed our lives completely and started fresh in a new country. I miss my home and my family that we left behind on Canadian soil. But I don’t miss the pain it caused us all. Seems the water here is very healing and calming, very good for empaths.

For anyone that needs to know how to get through anything hard, never give up! Use the power of prayer; affirmations also work great. Please be good to yourself, and be gentle. This takes time. Today, I feel blessed but still very haunted by my past.

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About the Author | Nicole Martineau

Nicole Martineau spends her days as a taxi driver for her family. In her spare time, she likes to be in her little garden on her condo veranda. She loves to write, pray, and meditate when she can. Nicole has spent a lot of time power-walking in her new neighborhood. She enjoys the Florida sunshine. When she has time, she enjoys the beaches, the water, and the manatees.

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13 comments to "The Heart of Your Soul"

  • Julie

    I think you’re amazing Niclole. Your words have been my inspiration. Strength and good vibes for you.

  • Diane

    I remember vividly the first day I met you and your family Nicole and how our paths have crossed since that first meeting. I think of you often and that first encounter and wonder how you have found the strength to go on. You are one of the kindest and most loving women I have had the opportunity to call my friend. Though we are many miles apart you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Nicole Martineau

      Awwwe thanks so much Di.It means alot to me;) you are in my heart always. As far as strength goes, I always ask the angels for help. 

  • Diane

    WOW… I see your Wings.

  • Diane Zeisler

    Good Mommy.

  • Nancy

    Nicki, I was always troubled when I thought about your story, but after reading this, in your own words, I found it very calming. Your story is well written and moving. Keep up the good work, I am sure there are many who will benefit from reading your story. God Bless.

  • Nicole Martineau

    Thanks so much for your thoughts.
    I choose to turn things around and put them in a positive light.
    For a soul level understanding.

  • Jennifer Corsini

    I’m truly touched by your story. I completely understand how you feel about being revictimized by the justice system and beyond. Eight years ago I was on life support in a coma at the hands of my husband. My life, my son’s life were destroyed. I was in the Hamilton general hospital in the burn unit and ICU for 3 weeks. Although it’s been 8 years, it seems like yesterday. God bless you. Stay strong.

  • Chris Stobbart Smr

    Every time I read this I get shivers up my spine and those Memories of that horrable time in our life, Thank God ir is healing.

  • Dave

    My goodness nikki!!!!!! You poor lovely lady. That is one of the worst things that can ever happen to anyone. Your compassion and stamina is wonderful. Yes the government let you down in a terrible way. The emotional scars i hope will soon fade away my dear always know that there are those who care. Me being one. Always keep the faith nikki. You are very brave. I remember us as kids and how those days were so full of wonderful memories and i was sad when your famly moved on. All i can say truly is my wife denise and i will always stand by you and your family and my wife suffered something similar. Perhaps its fate that we connected again. Take care nikki. I will always know you as the shy young girl that laughed with me all the time. Best friends are hatd to find and i hope these words give you some comfort. All the best nikki
    Dave xx

  • Suzan Radin

    Nicole, thank you for inviting me to search out your story; The Heart of Your Soul, in which, I found to be very compelling with many injustices that you had to endure. Having only known you for a short 5 months its amazing to realize thay your beautiful perky fun loving self had such horrorific challenges. I believe that you have and will continue on a peaceful journey recovering daily. For you spirit dictates a calmness that I have seen and you have successfully won. Keep the faith and God will keep the angels by your side. Holy Holy Holy Lord God Almighty He who was and Is to come. Amen.

  • Jessica

    I love you 💕