Letting Go of the Fear of Loving

Life is full of surprises. We never know what may come next. We never know who we might meet, who might be with us, or who might say goodbye. Family, friends, and many more. It is easy to realize we hold many forms of relationships…some last for life, some don’t.

This was a bit confusing to me. Like everybody else, I have been hurt. Relationshps brought darkness into my life. Wounds that still hurt sometimes…

Because of these wounds, I have trust issues. I used to fear that people would leave and our connection would not be close as it used to be. I used to care so much of what people would think of me if I expressed the way I truly felt. I was terrified that they would not understand and would label me with disgust.

I used to be afraid of being too different. I ended up being afraid to be my self. But I realized that just was not right.

Colleagues, friends, significant others…relationships are not supposed to be complicated, and definitely not based on fear.

I do not want to be afraid. I do not want to live in fear. I want to lovefearlessly

It may seem hard at first…but once you are willing to heal and get better, it will be easy.

Here are some steps that helped me.

1. Try to understand it takes time to heal. It is okay if you need some time, so trust the process. Most importantly: Be truly honest with yourself. Ask yourself, “How do I feel? Why?”

2. Retreat, and take a step back. Give yourself some time to accept what has happened, and learn from the experience. Inquire as to why you felt hurt, and what lesson you can take fro the experience. Know that you are strong, and this will only makes you stronger. Let yourself grow and improve from this.

3. Sort your circle, try to see clearly, and start to choose wisely. Hold on to relationships that are healthy, empowering, and safe for you. Pull yourself away from relationships that questioned your worth, or made you feel uncomfortable and less safe. Do not let your life be filled with toxic relationships ever again.

4. Never be afraid to be yourself. You are wonderful!

It took a while for me, but little by little, I’m starting to let go all of my fear. I’m learning to be less afraid to show that I care. I’m learning to be less afraid to love, and I hope that soon I will not be afraid anymore.

It is such a relief to admit this. Yes, I still have many fears to work on, but I will never stop learning.

It will get better.

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About the Author | Naomi Karsudjono

Naomi Karsudjono is a certified image consultant who loves the journey of personal development. She is an active social-work volunteer and a speaker about personal development among youth in her community. She also loves to learn new things, paint, and write. 

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4 comments to "Letting Go of the Fear of Loving"

  • Sr. Anna Maria, SPC

    Hi Naomi I proud of you. You are an optimist n realistic person. You are a lovely person.

    • Naomi Karsudjono

      Thank you, Sr. Anna… :) I appreciate it very much.
      it’s very nice and lovely, having the sisters of SPC in my life since I was three yeard old… SPC have shown and gave love & empowerment I am truly grateful of.

  • pastinni ray

    dear Naomi
    this is cool
    i knew you’re very optimistic person😊
    you always care n humble as well
    your also very affectioned n respectful to the elders,
    much love for you
    frm us 😍❤️

    • Naomi Karsudjono

      Dear Tante Made,
      Thank you very much… for plenty of love and support you have given to me all along.
      Please send back my love to you and yours