Wish You Were Here
“Wish you were here…”
Is that what missing someone sounds like? When we had a great day and look forward to talking all about it with a certain person? Or when we’re having a good time and it would be lovely to share it with somebody we care for?
Do we really have good reasons to miss something or someone? If we are grateful for all we have, right here, right now, shouldn’t we feel content with ourselves and thus not feel that someone or something is missing from our life?
Honestly, to say, “It’s a lovely day. I am delighted. But, somehow it feels incomplete. Something is still missing. I wish that a certain someone was here with me,” raised a bit of guilt in my mind. Even when that feeling of longing isn’t there, it is also hard to say, “I miss you, too,” even if that is exactly how I feel deep inside, whispering under what seem like jumbled words in mind.
As I feel like running from the feelings I’m afraid to feel, I trust my gut. So I turned to a soul who I believe might have a different but clear perspective. “It’s perfectly reasonable to miss something or someone, even if you have everything you ‘need’ where you are, yet you do not have what you ‘want,'” were the words I received.
I thought I could give it a try.
For a couple weeks, I stopped running and just let it be…
I try to remember all these times my best friends and I send messages, letting each of us know how nice our day was and sharing the lovely bits with one another. Including the silly ones, like that night a best friend told me to go outside and see the full moon just to convince me that its beauty resembled her beauty.
As I recollect those moments, I realized there was plenty of love exchanged in those calls and messages. Through pictures we send or funny stories we told…we let these kind people who are dear to our heart, into our lives. Through calls and messages we received right after their plane has landed, letting us know they have arrived safely…we merge into their lives.
I am trying to be aware and embrace every piece of sweetness that comes with the feeling of longing. It turns out that it feels nice. It feels very nice.
The fear and anxiety that once resided in my mind have suddenly become quiet…
Well, who knows…
Maybe it is perfectly fine.
Maybe it doesn’t have to feel like a burden at all.
Maybe it is not something to run away from.
Maybe it is something worth celebrating. That even on those lovely days, you still have room and power to love even more.
Maybe someday soon, I will finally be able to say, “I miss you, too.”