Survive then Thrive

My head is down
I’m driven and focused
I’m a mom, a wife, a friend
I am invincible
I sit on committees
I volunteer time
I’m a business owner and employee
I go
My life is hectic

I schedule a breast screening
STOP!

This isn’t possible
I don’t do sick
I don’t have time for cancer
Who will run my business?
Who will walk my dog?
Who will clean my house?
The questions of How? Who? What? swirl

No! It’s not possible
No! Now what?
No! Who is best?
No! What is best?

They all say “It’s your body”
“It’s your decision”
I don’t want to decide
I don’t want cancer
I don’t want this

I must
I tell myself I must
I really must
I think I can
Can I?
I will
It is possible
I can do this, right?
I decide I want to do this
I need to do this
I can’t do this
STOP

No, no I don’t want to do this
Well, maybe I can
I think I can
I know I can
I can, I really, really can
I make my decision
No more research
No more Google searches
Fewer doubts
Fewer fears

Surgery is done

Now I heal
Now I rest
I pray
People pray
I am healing

I hurt
And I cry
Then I dry my tears
And I rest
I breathe

My new questions:
What could I learn?
Who could I help?
How could this change lives?
It has changed mine
I am grateful
I push myself
I strive for more
I grow
I share
I survive
I thrive

I am alive.