An Ode to My Perfect Storm

I remember when she came: unannounced, unexpected, and unplanned. And yet, so needed. She was the piece of me that had been missing for so long. I yearned for her without realizing it, thinking my life was complete and fulfilled, but little did I know. Her abrupt entry in my life caused such chaos, the perfect storm that she was. It wasn’t enough to sink my perfect ship; she insisted on throwing me overboard with the smallest life raft she could find, barely enough to keep me afloat. There were so many moments when her waves would hit me that I just wanted to let go and sink to the bottom, sink deeply into the welcoming pit of darkness. The darkness called to me with its velvet voice, warm and welcoming, whispering promises of painlessness.

And each time I started to succumb to its calls of reassurance, she would brighten her skies, allowing rays of beautiful sunshine to warm my skin, and I would say…“Not today. I want to feel the sun on my face, so maybe tomorrow.” I would tighten my grip on life and catch my breath. I never knew how much I wanted to live until I faced the fact that for so many years, I had not truly been alive; I had merely been going through the motions in a paralyzed state.

My life began when she came crashing into it. She turned my world upside down, made me question my purpose, my beliefs, who I truly was at my core. She forced her love upon me and forced me to love her back. I thought I knew the meaning of true love, thought I had experienced it, but I was wrong. She made me look deeply into the abyss, face my greatest fears, sit with my demons and embrace them as part of who I am. She broke me and mended me all at once.

To this day, she continues to challenge me with her quick wit, her independence, the way she laughs at her own jokes, how she sings as loudly on the sidewalks as she does in the shower. She has taught me that I don’t have to be perfect, that I don’t have to keep it all together all the time, that silliness should be experienced daily and that love is all that matters.

I now welcome her stormy moods, knowing that as strong as they can be, her sun will always shine brighter. She is, and always will be, my perfect storm. I owe my life to her. Thank you, sweet girl, for crashing in like you did.