Finding the Love of My Life

As a young girl, I would lay in bed at night and pray for a way to happiness. I didn’t know what it would look like, but anything other than my own drug-induced environment would have sufficed.

I prayed incessantly for love. I didn’t know what that looked like either, but eventually, it showed up.

Night after long night, it showed up. I would wait apprehensively for the love that I knew was comingfrom the wrong man in the wrong way.

Night after long, dark night.


The one thing I could rely on happening consistently. The one source of comfort in my young life. The one person who I knew was always going to show up. The one person who would never go away.

I reached and searched for a way out that I couldn’t find.

So, I waited. For time to pass. For years to pass. I knew I would grow up some day and there would be light. And I did, but where was this happiness that I asked for? And the love?

Oh there he is! He is perfect. He will fill every need and desire that I have. And all will be well in my world.

Did I suck that incredible man dry. And yet again, life was treacherous. For 17 years, a radical roller coaster of putting on a show and forcing things to be great. Filling my holes of darkness with another human’s heart.

Until it fell apart, landing me deeper and darker in my emptiness.


With the woman in the mirror.

Naked, scarred, and out of breath.

Until I looked her into her eyes and the depth of her soul. And finally, I took her by the hand and we walked through the muck and the mud. Through the bottles of booze and puddles of tears.

We stood back up, over and over and over again.

Years. Together.

Love? I am love.

All along it was you.

All along it was me.

And here I stand. Strong. Happy. Free.

I. Am. Love.

Mimi Marie Image

About the Author | Mimi Marie

Mimi Marie is a life, health, and nutrition coach who is wildly passionate for women's empowerment and personal growth. She finds joy in sharing life's journeys with her five children and keeps herself grounded with the beauty of the outdoors. She loves practicing presence and embracing life through meditation, self-love, being a contribution, and nurturing a healthy and balanced lifestyle.

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8 comments to "Finding the Love of My Life"

  • Clare

    Beautifully written and I’m sure many women will relate x

  • Erin

    Beautifully written and beautiful sentiment.

  • Wow!! This hit home in a huge way. As a woman, I so know the search for love outside out ourselves, Seriously felt it deep in my heart. Beautiful truth written Mimi!

  • Maria

    Courageous words and spirit. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey. Xo

  • Carlie

    Love this! Looking forward to more!!

  • Celia Noehren

    So True!. Tio find Love is to Love yourself first. You always know you can depend on yourself. Being alone is never sad when you make yourself #1 as you are. It took many years to learn that. Thanks for sharing. You have become an Amazing woman. Love you Mimi.

  • DeBonis Karen

    Beautiful, Mimi. Thanks for sharing.

  • Lisa Merrill

    Hi Mimi,
    We don’t know each other well at all but deep down I was so proud of you that you didn’t follow in your mother’s footsteps. I had no idea about your story well as I’m reading I want you to know that all you’re hard work has truly paid off. Life is so unpredictable. You’ve looked up and within, it’s all worth.
    I’m not sure how much you know about me but I grew up with your mom, Aunt George, Aunt Steph and Uncle Zeke. We did life together from the time we moved to Quiet Hills Dr. Our lives have taken different paths but they’ve always had a special place in my heart.
    I wanted to reach out to let you know I’m so proud of you and I love your family!
    Blessings and I’m looking forward to reading more of your story.
    Love Lisa Merrill (Sibilla)