From Heartache to Gratitude

There is something about being a woman in her 40s; everything starts to make sense and come together. There’s a feeling of finally being comfortable in your own skin. I have heard that from women for years and now that I am there, I see what everyone has been talking about.

As I sit here today, I am a 45-year-old woman, entrepreneur, and mother of a pretty amazing 16-year-old boy. I am in love again with a man who has been my best friend for the past 10 years. I am happy. I am excited about life. I can say I am at peace for the first time in a long time.

That wasn’t the case a few years back. I have come a long way.

I met my former husband when I was only 23. I had a lot to learn about life. We fell in love and began our journey together. We got married, had a baby, bought our first house, traveled and ran a business. Life was good! We were living the American dream. We were enjoying life, and I honestly never thought it would be any different.

We had a thriving and successful business for 17 years. We traveled a lot, which was easy enough with 1 child. We lived in 6 houses over 17 years. A few of which we bought, fixed up and sold for a nice profit. Seriously. Life was good and I thought it was never going to change.

Until one day when it did.

After losing over a million dollars in a ponzi scheme, it all changed. My marriage fell apart; my son had a very difficult time dealing with that, and as a result he started hanging out with the wrong crowd. He was 12 at the time and was blindsided by the family breaking up. We sold our company and I found myself struggling to understand my place in the world as a career woman, as a mother – all of it. The rug was literally pulled out from under me.

I am humbled by who I have become when I look back at the past 5 years of my life. I reflect on all the lessons I have learned, the quiet moments with myself, the long, deep talks with the people closest to me, the tears that come out of the blue when they have needed to be shed. I have let it all be – and am learning to trust myself and the universe in a new way. It’s perfect and kind of beautiful just the way it is.

Every day is a chance to become present to the gratitude in my life. I appreciate the simple things like my son calling out of the blue to ask me how to make an omelet or help him navigate an issue in his life. I appreciate my dog wagging her tail with such joy and excitement every time she sees me. I appreciate the man who loves me unconditionally every day, and has showed me how to love again. And now, I have a business that is thriving and off to a great start.

I celebrate my life each day and wait to see what the universe has in store for me. This is my journey. I have always been in awe of women and inspired by the strength and tenacity women in general have. I am now one of these women that I have always admired and I see this is my time to share my story, give back and make a difference in any way I can.