The Heart of Your Soul
Sandcastles and daydreams. Just walking along the pier, wondering if the manatees are there today. I enjoy watching them in the water with their babies; they seem so free. Something that I wish I could be…
I am in such a beautiful place with my beautiful family. I should be free. I have moved forward so well from five years ago. Yet my heart still hurts. I am still grieving. When does the pain stop? Grieving is like the ocean, it comes in waves. You take each day as it comes.
It was a dream for my husband, and myself to buy a beautiful home in the country. So we did. Beautiful property, and our neighbors were at least a mile away or more. The view was so breathtaking. We had nature all around us, and I could garden to my heart’s delight.
Seems being in the country was not as freeing as I thought it would be. Our new neighbors found us quickly. They were quite curious about us, our family, and our valuables. We had our hands full over the next five years and put our home up for sale. We had had enough of the poor values. We did not not want to raise our children here.
One day, my husband left for work as usual, and the kids were at school. I just had my little one at home with me. Looking out the window, I noticed I was being watched. I was really suspicious. Listening to my intuitive instincts, it didn’t feel good. There was a knock at the door; it was one of the local teens. He was very unstable. But I never though he would hurt me.
I wonder what would have happened if I would have just called the police on my suspicions. But no, I didn’t…and wish I had.
I protected my four-year-old and took the brunt of it. Somehow, in the struggle, we managed to make it outside and yell for help. I have always worked with angels and know that Archangel Michael heard my call. The next thing I knew, my son and I were in someone’s arms, being told the ambulance was on its way.
The fire engines were also called. My son was close with me, and my husband was being called. All of a sudden, our little country peace was no more.
My house was burned down. I had second-degree burns and stab wounds. My son was untouched. Just scared. I was flown by helicopter to our Hamilton Hospital burn unit. I was in a medicated coma for a few days. As far as my virtue, it was taken, too.
I woke up to see my family by my side, in shock. Was I dreaming? Should I go back to sleep?
Yet when I woke up, I felt so different within myself. I felt that I had vibrated to a higher plane and was not the same Nicole that I was before. I was not the same healer that I was before.
When I was able to get around more and was able to go to the bathroom by myself, I happened to see the bruises on my swollen face and realized they weren’t mine. They were someone else’s.
Going through our legal system and trying to get help from our politicians was extremely disappointing. Seems the violent offender received so much more attention. We felt like our family had been put aside. He has stayed in a juvenile facility. He was only 17 years old. He will be looking for parole really soon. Our own politicians have let us down. Our own victim services have let us down. I had to find my own help. It took me a while. But we found the right person to help myself and my son. We had so many doors closed on our faces. We had just had enough. All this did was bring more pain and suffering to us.
Five years later, we have all changed our lives completely and started fresh in a new country. I miss my home and my family that we left behind on Canadian soil. But I don’t miss the pain it caused us all. Seems the water here is very healing and calming, very good for empaths.
For anyone that needs to know how to get through anything hard, never give up! Use the power of prayer; affirmations also work great. Please be good to yourself, and be gentle. This takes time. Today, I feel blessed but still very haunted by my past.
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