Identity of a Woman

What is a woman?

Who is a woman?

Is it just about being female?

Is she someone with long hair?


Does she wear skirts?


How old is a woman?

Old enough to know what?

What does she know?


Secrets about being a woman?

About who a woman is?

What a woman is?

What she thinks?

What she feels?

What she does?


Am I a woman?

I don’t feel like a woman.

What does a woman feel?

Is she emotional?

Is she dramatic?

Is she wearing a dress?

Is she grown up?

All grown up?


Can she still feel young?

Does she feel pretty?

Does she feel powerful?

Is being a woman about power

Or empowerment?


I have been a mom, an athlete,

A child, a sister, and a wife…

I don’t ever remember being a woman

Or feeling like one.


Does a woman still have fun?

Does she laugh?

Is she comfortable in her own skin?

Is a woman about curves?

Long nails? Make up?

Is she “put together?”

Is being a woman about the outside?

Or what’s inside?

What is inside?

Am I a woman yet?

I don’t know.

What is a woman?


Is she nurturing?

Is she graceful?

Is there more?

Is it about feeling sexy?

Is it about loving myself and

The way I am?

Bumps, curves, and all?


Does it have anything to do with

The outside at all?

No? Then what?


How do I find her?

What do I do?

Where is she?

Why is it so hard?

Why don’t I know?

So many questions unanswered.


Is being a woman about acceptance of self?

As is, no questions, no doubts?

Just love, self-love?

Can it be that easy?


How do I become a woman?

How do I accept I am one?

How do I feel like one?

How do I know when I am?

How do I know when I become?


Why so much struggle?

So much pain?

So much fear?

So much doubt?

Where is the love of myself?

Where is the nurturing of myself?

Where is the acceptance?

Why is it so hard to let go?

To free myself to be a woman?

To be who I am

To accept who I am

To nurture who I am

To love who I am?


Is it because I worry about how others see me?

How can that be when I can’t even see me?

Is it because I have a picture in my head that is not reality based?

People talk about rose-colored glasses yet so many times I don’t have them on when I look in the mirror.

I have glasses that distort.

Why don’t I love?

Why don’t I trust?

I am so special and have so many gifts

As a woman.

Where is my acknowledgement?

Where is my knowing?

Where is my woman?

Am I one yet?

I still don’t know.


Ok. So I say to myself try this…

I am curvey

And I love that.

I am fun

And I love that.

I’m not very graceful

But I love that too.

I am sexy

And I’m getting used to that.

I am nurturing

And I’ve always known that.

I don’t do my nails,

I don’t wear skirts or dresses

I hate panty hose

And I love that.

I am an athlete in my heart

And that will never change

And I love that.

I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a lover, a friend,

And I love that.

I have my struggles, my doubts, my fears

But I also have my own answers somewhere and I love that

My power, my humor, my love to give,

My doubts, my fears, my support, my challenges, my loyalty, my courage, my determination, my curves, my emotions

My mind, my wisdom, my intuition, and my acceptance

These are reasons

I am a woman because a woman is more than the outside.

A woman is a frame of mind,

A woman is belief,

A woman is confidence and faith

A woman loves herself unconditionally

A woman is a work in progress.


To the woman in you from the woman in me…

Love yourselves

Nurture yourselves

Accept yourselves

Honor yourselves

Each and every day.

We deserve it and we are worth it.

Avatar photo

About the Author | Michaelene Ruhl

Leave a Reply

3 comments to "Identity of a Woman"

  • You are my friend…
    I love that

  • Beth Notarius

    Wow, I’m speechless. I’m beginning a deeper understanding of myself by understanding you Michaelene. Such powerful questions. Such powerful answers and ponderings. Such vulnerability and strength.

    Wow. I’m speechless.

  • I am a woman, too. Also a work in progress and learning more every day how to stand up for the rights of others and me whenever there are people or pets in need, though I may not have much, I can stretch what I have and feed a full house with one tiny bird. I don’t get paid for what I do and I don’t need to they are living beings, too. God said we should all love each other. We, if lucky have a nurturing mother or father to guide us and mold us so we all know were strong. If not when we’re young we may wander aimlessly on the wrong paths and then something wakes up inside us and we prayed to be strong. I’ve always wondered why I waited so long. It doesn’t matter for each wrong paths or stepping stone has been another tool and they are why I have grown. You are a beautiful person from the inside out. No need to whine or pout just let the little hurt child inside each living soul, get out , no longer captive and are free with prayers to grow.Lauri Pattelena ©January 7th 2015 all rights reserved but permission to share and hopefully it helps some kid grow to their full potential, that would be a plus. Message me on Facebook or via email if you have comments