In the Midst of Popular Judgments!

When I was small (I still am, so I might say when I was smaller), I had this habit of analyzing people to figure out who they were. And I had my own standard procedure to scan them. People who treated my father with respect were good people. The rest? They were bad or irrelevant. Mind you, I was smaller than the lunchbox I dreamt to carry! Growing up, I realized how naive my analysis was. Naive translates to 99% faulty.

My life experiences have since translated into the realization that people are not who they seem to be, or who they pretend to be. More often than not, they’re just the opposite—more like an unraveled monster hidden in their cupboards. They uncloak their beauty the moment nobody is looking.

Some scarred experiences remind me of being a victim of body- and slut-shaming by my own friends, as well as a subject of sexual abuse by my most trusted family friend. And, well, the list can go on. But that doesn’t define who I am or wish to be.

Of course, I suffered in silence. Mental trauma, insomnia to some extent…they still remain under the perils of the hidden monster. But the greatest lesson I have learned in my life over the last two decades is that one cannot live happily while being bitter about whatever happened in the past. Calling people names doesn’t help, if there are enough of them.

My greatest pal in overcoming this traumatic experience has been my dream star, Shah Rukh Khan. And as he says, I have learned to be immune to popular opinions about myself, and the expectations that have been inflicted upon me. I have learned to be me as a choice.

Another powerful lesson Iearned (at the risk of quoting the evil but smart Peter Baelish) is that knowledge is power. You know things, and you’re automatically more in control. Things make sense to you, which is powerful—however bizarre it may sound, not everyone can make sense of the things around them.

I have learned that people aren’t stupid—they are just ignorant to certain things. And ignorance breeds stupidity. A little more knowledge never hurts. And knowledge on my terms doesn’t only refer to getting to know about your prime minister but is a wider concept. I try to gain some of it through books and Netflix, as well asTV shows, movies, and law (I’m a law student—did I forget to mention that?)…and, well, more books.

I’ve spent a major part of my life battling insomnia, and nothing about it is romantic or poetic. Moving from many sleepless nights in a row, to getting approximately four hours of sleep per night has been a hell of a roller-coaster ride. It’s tough when people tell you, “Close your eyes and you’ll fall asleep.” It simply doesn’t happen that way, does it? You’d know if you suffer from insomnia.

Mental health is another important thing I got to learn about while growing up. And one cannot underestimate its importance. The way certain things, from setbacks to the criticism of others, can impact our psychological state needs to be understood. Inspirational and motivational speeches are OK, but let’s accept it. The world is competitive, and it can be painful to be a part of it. And these things matter. Period.

However, in the midst of all of this, I haven’t quit analyzing (read: silently judging) people. But now it’s going to be through my profession rather than unexamined assumptions. I’m happy to be a to-be lawyer!

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About the Author | Anna Anu Priya

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15 comments to "In the Midst of Popular Judgments!"

  • Vaishnavi Mehta

    It’s really sad when people turn out to be something not expected to be like.
    Apart from it. U wrote so well.

  • Wellwisher

    Well, it is true that the painful memories never vanish but the mental agony can be lessened by helping out many more lives that require support and a helping hand. By being a lawyer you can very well provide assistance to many more such souls which suffer from the trauma of sexual abuse. Thus, u will find ur peace in soothing out someone else’s pain. All the best. God bless☺

  • Well wisher

    Well, it is true that the scars of the bad memories never vanish but the mental pain and agony can be lessened by helping out many more such souls who suffer from the same trauma. Thus, it is by helping and assisting others that u can heal ur scars. More power to girls and more power to you.
    God bless!

  • Aman Kumar

    We love you Anna.Proud of you girl. 😄

  • Ekta

    Amazingly written Anna. I was able to relate with your words. Keep writing ♥️💕

  • shuchita srivastava

    you are wonderful ana.

  • Shweta Chaudhary

    Long way to go girl! The way you write and pour out your heart in those stories. I just love it.

  • Ashima

    You’ve written beautifully, Anna. I hope you find peace in the chaos that’s life and changing people with their various faces. Many people face things in the past that leave ragged edges in our life but coming out and talking about it all requires a great deal of courage, exactly what you’ve shown. Good luck for the future! 😊💓

  • Akanksha Bhatt

    Wow Anna.. it’s a wonderful article and so worth reading. I really am glad that you shared the work with us. We can feel it from your work that how terrible and heartbreaking it is when the people so close to you proves be to so ruthless.. but you know what’s the best part? That despite of all the hardships that you have faced and are still facing, they aren’t as powerful as YOU ARE! They don’t let you stop achieving what you dream to achieve. You keep going and being a better person.. and that is all that matters.. ‘to be a better person..’ To me, this is one of the most inspirational work I’ve ever read and I hope that people get inspired from your life story too. I know they surely will..
    Thanks for sharing.
    Much love ❤

  • Your x roommate

    Hey I am not saying I know you very well but as I came to know about you is that u are undoubetly vry brave and courageous grl who always use to fight from the past every day and every night.. but somehow you manage and never seek help from anyone although i want to but…..
    So I want to say that u r the best person ever meet in my life u deserve many more good things in ur life keep going nd i am sure u ll shine like star all d vry best 😘

  • Jaya

    U r not alone..but the way you speak up courageously is commendable.. u write well.

  • Alkama Ahmad

    Proud of u anna😘😘
    Love u so much

  • Shweta Chaudhary

    Please write a book. I love reading what you write❤️

  • Saumya swarnkar

    You go girl😘
    U turned Ur cant’s into can’s n dreams into plans
    Ur more powerful than you know.
    Much love

  • Punam Raj

    U know Anna I have still kept ur handmade birthday card, ur apology letter like a younger sister , our love for srk, ur untimely sleeping hour and many more memories to cherish for a lifetime. U have always been one of ur kind…
    God bless you with all the success in life.
    Love you anna