Using Wonder Woman’s Wristbands!

As I move into the fifth decade of my life, I’m finished with passive-aggressive attitudes, energy drains, and relationships that take up more space than they should.

Completely. Done.

In January, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to get physically healthy, but now I’m realizing that emotional and energetic health is my real priority and the only pathway to holistic health—and nothing is going to stand in the way of that.

In year 49 of my life, I’ve experienced a complete shake-up with respect to my business, my purpose, my sense of self, and my understanding of some of the patterns around my most important relationships. At first, all of it was destabilizing, but it also gave me strength and perspective—not to mention, the wisdom I needed to gain conscious awareness of how I’m unnecessarily directing my energy towards time- and people-sucking situations.

I’m noticing that where I used to have endless patience and compassion for others, and where I used to go to great lengths to meet “difficult” people much more than halfway, I’m more willing than ever to sever ties instead of using my precious energy to salvage unsalvageable relationships. I’m more willing to tell it like it is and be painstakingly transparent with myself and others. I’m am getting curious about my emotions and noticing the places where I’m a “no.” Instead of trying to strike a compromise or get to “yes,” I’m content to focus my time on the things that bring me joy and that automatically elicit a “yes” from me. Without guilt. What a concept!

In the last few months, I’ve decided to take Dr. Maya Angelou’s advice to “believe people when they show you who they are.”  While that brings up a great deal of sadness at times, I have realized that a huge part of releasing the past and cleaning up my life is letting people go…letting them be who they are without taking on the burden of their expectations or bad behavior. I’ve also become more honest about my own needs in the process. Now I know this isn’t about making other people “bad” or “wrong.” It’s just about acknowledging what works for me and what doesn’t—and allowing that to be the yardstick by which I measure my relationships.

This tactic might be edgy for some. After all, women are taught to compromise, to acquiesce, to be understanding, to be OK with the breadcrumbs of connection that are thrown at us and to meet others where they are, not where we are. In the process, we unconsciously take on other people’s energy, internalizing things like disapproval or hostility.

I now know that I don’t have to “fix” every relationship I’m in. Sometimes, there’s mutual growth and movement. Other times, there isn’t. As my own  awareness expands (and believe me, it’s a nonlinear and messy process!), I’ve learned to see life more clearly. Not through the rose-tinted glasses of old belief systems, but from a place of relaxed surrender.

Nowadays, when I feel things like passive-aggressive or dishonest energy coming my way, I can simply shake my head no, put up my hand, and deflect it—just like I am Wonder Woman warding off energy blasts and incoming attacks with her magic wristbands! And to be honest with you, sometimes I really do feel that powerful!

This is me getting healthier, cleaner, more accepting of others, and more honoring of myself.

This is me clearing the past and stepping enthusiastically into my desired future.

This is me claiming my truth and power as a woman. And, as Wonder Woman herself!


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About the Author | Kelly McNelis

Kelly McNelis is the founder of global community, Women for One, a speaker, coach, facilitator, and bestselling author of Your Messy Brilliance: 7 Tools for the Perfectly Imperfect Woman. With more than 25 years of experience as a nonprofit and small-business consultant, Kelly empowers generations of women around the world to build the relationships, community, and confidence they need to achieve their wildest dreams. She finds daily inspiration in spending time with her husband and children in her home outside of Seattle.

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1 comment to "Using Wonder Woman’s Wristbands!"

  • Dana

    Love this visual Kelly – thanks for sharing. It does take strength to do what is right for you and not be tempted to keep giving in because we have been taught to be nice. Thanks for sharing!