Am I Kinda Pausing or Really Pausing?

Again I’m in the middle of a yoga practice, and again the instructor offers me something to ponder and reorient my mind around.

“Are you kinda pausing, or really pausing?” she asks us, as we rest in a pose. I laugh.

I talk about mindfulness and breathing and pausing much of my day. I mention it to my clients; I remind my family and friends (when they’ll let me); I repeat it to myself. Over and over.

And yet, as the instructor highlighted the difference of a “kinda” pause and a real pause, I had to admit that I might, more often than not, be on a kinda pause reel.

So I took a breath. A slow breath. I took one again now. And I stopped, noticed my surroundings, and paid attention to some of the tension starting to build inside me as I mentally worked through all of the things I have on my to-do list today. Including yoga. How can I be stressed about how I’m going to make it to my yoga practice? How does that help?

I have time to really pause in my day. I have time to fully stop, notice, pay attention, appreciate (or dislike). I have time to rest for a few seconds, or even a minute, but I, someone who teaches this and professes to live by this, forget to take—or make—the time.

So I can ask myself, over and over again, “Are you kinda pausing, or really pausing?” And if the answer is kinda, over and over again, I can ask myself what it will take for me to really pause. And then I can do it.

Because I know that pausing will help me. It will help me be happier. It will help me be healthier. It will help me be nicer. It will even help me get more done.

I’m going to really pause. And really pause again.

Feel free to call me on it.