Why I am Saying Goodbye to “Careful Cara”

Okay, here it goes. In my gut I’ve wanted to say what I’m about to say for a while and today I’m finally ready to just do it. A few days ago I had two “aha” insights.

1. I’ve become Careful Cara. 
2. I’m ready to leave her behind.

Over the past 12 years, I’ve been meticulously careful and cautious about what I do and say in public. In building my business, I’ve shared and supported, relinquished and reconciled, and flat out made myself small—even invisible.

Somewhere along the way I came to believe that I had to minimize myself to raise others up. I’ve tempered my enthusiasm for some things, compromised on others, and often curbed what fuels my fire and makes my heart sing.

In cultivating the Verge method, I’ve been careful not to misrepresent the yogis and Buddhists. I’ve been careful to align with the average American, but not to dumb him or her down or make empty promises. I’ve been careful not to be too big or too bold. I’ve contained my intensity so I don’t rock the boat. I’ve censored my blogs so that they’re both friendly and accessible.

In a nutshell, I’ve been careful—very, very careful.

Until now, being careful has worked for me, well sort of. I’m not sure exactly what has shifted in me, but I know I’m now ready to declare that Careful Cara’s time is up. Her ship is ready to sail—without me.

I can no longer ignore the gnawing feeling that emphatically tells me I’m not quite allowing my true voice to come through. I cannot ignore the impulse to share my uncensored dreams, and I most certainly can no longer mute my experiences and discoveries of how to infuse high quality attention and intention into all aspects of my life.

It’s time for me to stop tiptoeing around. I am ready to drop my protective layer and expose my intense zest for living in its purest form.

I can no longer hold back my zest for life. The force is too strong. I feel anxious when I contain it. When I’m careful, I feel awkward. Careful churns my insides and makes me do stupid things.

I feel more real, more genuine when I play on the edge of my comfort zone.

You see, I was born a prodder and a provoker, and I love to be poked and prodded. It’s in my DNA. I seek out people who speak directly, move with confidence, and tell it like it is. I feed off others’ intellectual brilliance and love of learning. I welcome their inquiries and their encouragement to lean in and press on. I love to dish it out too.

I feel called to stir pots—mine and yours—so that we can get real about where we hold back and where we are stuck. I get jazzed about pulling back the curtain on cultural beliefs and exposing the insanity of our numb acceptance of mediocrity.

Careful Cara is not who I am; it’s who I was.

She protected me when I started my business, but I am ready to let her go. I don’t know what will happen to me. I don’t know who I will be or what I will say or do.

What I DO know, however, is that I’m excited to be free of Careful Cara. I’m ready to speak more directly and move with more confidence. I’m eager to share my unbridled enthusiasm for optimizing life and my insatiable curiosity for feeling fully alive on purpose every day.

I feel the quickening, the stirring that arises when change is imminent.

I’m on the verge of stepping into a new arena.

I look forward to exploring this territory without the protective layer formerly known as Careful Cara. It’s bound to get interesting as I challenge myself (and hopefully you too) in new ways. Will you join me?

Article originally published on carabradley.net