Breaking Up with Judgment

I’m currently reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s The Universe Has Your Back, which is a great book. All of the lessons center around finding your way back to love, which I try to practice in my daily life. Whenever fear, anger, envy, or resentment creep up in my thoughts, I take a moment to take a deep breath and return to love. The more you practice this, the faster you can get yourself back into a loving mindset.

Today’s chapter had to do with releasing judgement. Sounds pretty simple, right? Except it’s not—in our day-to-day interactions, we tend to judge. Whether it’s aloud through gossiping or in our own thoughts, we as humans tend to be very judgmental. That’s because our ego thrives on drama, and what better way to create drama than to judge? When we take a moment to step back and observe all the ways in which we are judging at any given moment, it’s appalling.

For example, today, on my way to get groceries, I noticed that I had several unkind thoughts pop in my mind. There was a guy waiting for the tram dressed in dirty clothes, and I moved away from him, thinking, “Ugh, he might ask me for money and I don’t want to deal with that.” Then, when I got on the tram, I saw a couple teenage girls with bright purple hair, and I thought, “Why would anyone do that? It looks so stupid. You’re not getting a job with hair like that.” At the grocery store, the terrible and unkind dialogue continued.

Because I’m also very much in tune with the frequency and flow of divine love, I heard a voice say, “Stop it. This isn’t in line with love, and you really don’t know anything about these people. We are all one, all love.” I instantly felt guilty and ashamed for the thoughts I’d been having but remembered what the lesson said: When you find yourself trapped in judgmental thoughts, forgive yourself and ask for your thoughts to be redirected to love with a simple prayer: “I see that I have made the wrong choice and I forgive myself. I now choose love.”

As I walked out of the store, I felt lighter and brighter, like I’d removed this dark cloak when saying my prayer. I walked to the tram stop and noticed that a tram was on its way, so I decided to try and run for it—something I’ve promised myself never to do unless I’m late for meeting someone. The way I see it, if I’m constantly rushing or running after trams, I’m missing what’s happening in the moment, and who knows, maybe something magical will happen in this exact moment that I would miss while chasing the future.

I got to it just as the doors were closing. I was right by the driver’s window and pressed the button, but the doors wouldn’t open and the driver completely ignored me and my heavy grocery bags. She looked over at me as she drove off and I thought, “What an effing bi**h!” I put my bags down and looked at the clock and realized that the tram had been running a little bit behind. I intuitively knew that this was why the driver left without me; it really had nothing to do with me, or with her being rude. She was simply doing her job. Again, I felt the heaviness lift off me and sat in the sun while waiting for the next tram. The next tram came along; I got on and saw my friend sitting at the back. We caught up and made plans to have lunch this week. Had I gotten on the previous tram, I wouldn’t have run into her and would probably not have that lunch date.

Breaking up with judgement isn’t easy, and it takes practice, but it is really worth it. And if you’re lucky enough and believe in miracles, maybe the universe will make it so that your friend is on the tram and you wind up with a fun lunch date!