Explore Limitless Possibility (Tool #6, Manifestation)

It’s no secret that I’m not into a one-size-fits-all system for dealing with the ups and downs of life. At the same time, it’s important for me to remind myself of the qualities I’ve strived to cultivate over the years: ones that have brought me a greater sense of passion, purpose, joy, and connection. This is the sixth in a series of blogs that detail how I personally incorporate the seven tools of my book, Your Messy Brilliance: 7 Tools for the Perfectly Imperfect Woman, into my life.  I invite you to take a deep dive with me into the value of Curiosity, Awareness, Acceptance, Intuition, Choice, Manifestation, and Your Infinite Roadmap! Please let me know in the comments how you personally address and engage with each of these important tools in your life. 

Have you ever asked yourself why some people live the lives they have always dreamed of living, while others continue to get bogged down in their limited ideas of what’s possible? No matter what circumstances you’re born into, when you’re willing to live courageously and fight for your dreams, you’ve moved into the territory of something I like to call the master manifestor.

Becoming a master manifestor means that you know your innate potential— but not because you’ve spent all your time reciting positive affirmations, believing this will somehow create change. Instead, you know that only you have the ultimate power to create your reality. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be curveballs along the path, but you know that, ultimately, you can handle them.

When becoming a master manifestor, you move through your own muck and magnificence simultaneously, with as much self-acceptance and as little shaming as possible. You turn your fear into fuel— and you realize that either you can choose to let it weigh you down, or you can allow its force to take you where you want to go. And even as you do the work to make life happen on your own terms, you get that your conscious mind doesn’t have all the answers. You realize you have dreams that you didn’t even know about, and you recognize the power of surrender in achieving those dreams

“Limitless possibility” are the keywords here. Being a master manifestor really isn’t all that the self-help books profess it to be. Manifestation isn’t about clinging to your rigid ideas of how all the things you most yearn for should show up. In fact, contrary to a lot of stories about people visualizing a little red sports car or gorgeous mate, manifestation is less about specifics than it is about surrender.

I realized this when I met my husband, Yom. Actually, my story begins well before he even came along. My dear friend Julie was dying of terminal cancer. She’d been ill for some time now, and much of our time was spent talking about life, love, and what I wanted now that I’d just ended my first relationship after my divorce. It was somewhat ironic—here she was, on her deathbed, consoling me.

On New Year’s Eve, Julie looked at me and said, “Kelly, you can create absolutely anything you want. What do you want?” She knew that I longed for partnership, so that’s what we focused on. She and I brainstormed a list of all the qualities I was looking for in a partner Although the entire exercise felt kind of corny and cliche to me (after all, who doesn’t make a wish list when they first learn about manifestation?), I went along with it. The top qualities came easily to me: commitment, humor, power, trust.

I wrote it all down and we burned the list. It felt exhilarating, like I was sending out a clear message about what I stood for and what I wanted. But to be honest, I let it go that evening and didn’t even think about it afterwards…that is, until I met Yom a week later.

It took me a while to warm up to this older businessman, who (I thought) wasn’t my type at all. I’d always believed I wanted a spiritual and creative hippie man who was on his “path,” but here was Yom: a successful, Scotch-drinking, golfing straight shooter with a pragmatic and conservative worldview. At the same time, it was undeniable: He had most, if not all, of the qualities I’d written down on that piece of paper years ago. As dramatically different as he was from me in his tastes and beliefs, there was also a lot of overlap and our natures were complementary. He was solid, funny, honest, authentic, mature, kind, powerful, and supportive in ways that I’d never even believed were possible in a relationship.

I realize in retrospect that if I’d been stuck on the idea of manifesting exactly the man I’d conjured in my mind (not just his qualities), I would probably have written Yom off entirely. But I didn’t assume that I knew best here. I remained open, and this choice provided me with everything I hadn’t even known I’d wanted. My relationship continued to evolve in beautiful ways. Ultimately, I realized that Yom was the dream man I’d described in that list I wrote.

This is why I know that being a master manifestor isn’t about getting what you think you want, which tends to be built on idealized images you’ve been collecting from childhood. Also, what may have worked in the past isn’t necessarily what will work in the future. Instead of getting stuck on specific people, places, and things, you can tune in to the essence of what it is you want, and recognize that there are countless ways to fulfill it. Maybe not today, tomorrow, or even next month or year. Let go of your desired schedule. Trust that the universe will do its work in its own time, and it’s OK to cherish your dreams without clinging so so tightly and so desperately to them.

I’ve recognized that manifestation is the result of working with all the tools: curiosity, awareness, acceptance, intuition, and choice. The more you do the work of stepping into yourself, the more the universe will provide you with incredible opportunities and gently usher you to the edge of what you once believed was possible. With that new sense of expansiveness, you can actually leap—knowing that something, or someone, will be there to catch you.

To find out more about Manifestation and the other tools, be sure to check out my book,  Your Messy Brilliance: 7 Tools for the Perfectly Imperfect Woman. Also, let me know how you’ve explored manifestation in your own life! How can you connect with manifestation this week? (Hint: Maybe there’s a dream that you’re longing to bring into the world. Write down a list of what you want, and how all of it will add to your life. Let yourself burn the list in your own special ritual. Now, is it possible for you to let go and surrender, knowing that it will all turn out as it should?)