My Nickname is Awoke
My nickname is Awoke, a name given to me by my boyfriend in college. He said he had a dream about it and from that day on, it naturally embodied everything I stood for and shared for over a decade.
The last 2 years I felt really lost in my journey struggling with a new identity, life, friends, and love. People who have witnessed my transitions and walked with me would even make the joke that “Awoke is Asleep.”
Frantically, I’ve been searching for me, often feeling as if I was drowning in a pool of uncertainties and judgments…. fears. I recently had 2 defining moments in my life. In the first, I experienced being stripped of my ego. I was left to see only myself as I am with no walls to shield me from what I was scared of. I’m so thankful for this because it’s not like I wasn’t completely unaware, but my ego had become so second nature I couldn’t see past it to see the truth. Once my ego was lifted, I saw only fears and a solution to them. The answer was love, forgiveness, and atonement. I sincerely felt that the moment I could implement these things into my life was the moment I could be at peace again.
The second was a chance encounter that made me realize that I had baggage. I was that girl, the one too scared to let her guard (ego) down and just love, much less the girl to be loved completely. This just wouldn’t do. The prospect of love was even more motivating!
With the same enthusiasm and love that brought me to miraculous heights before, I sought out and found my answers that naturally had been seeking me.
Love & Be Loved