In the Midst of All

In the midst of all
I was in a whirlpool
Of chaos and irritation
Frustration and headache

It felt like all was done
Crushed and cracked
Inch by inch
Within and out

The storm hit the so-called maturity
The so-called learnt life
The age was challenged

So was the ego

Everyone watched and laughed
I felt invisible and non-existent
The wind was dusty
So brown and stormy

Wherever I looked, turned
The road seemed blurry and bumpy
There were echoes and roars
That raised the heartbeat
So fast and painful that it hurt
Strain by strain

I thought I was mature and wide-awake

Strong enough to withhold the chaotic wave
But, with every chance and second
I got crushed inside

Deeper and deeper
The voice died
I became my own enemy
Sinking down in the dark

Crushing my chances, my voice, myself
Strangling every beauty and positivity
That ever existed
Pressing and choking it as hard as it could be

There also existed a voice inside
That tried to stop the rushing stormy wave
But it was suppressed

It got more dreadful

As I watched and observed
The ego kept being fed

Who am I? was the question

Traveling in every vein, blood vessel
Like the steamy hot waves of water

In the haunted stream
Heating up the surface

I stood there all alone, shot inside

Holding the bullet inside me

But still alive

It felt like I was choking my heart with the sword I created
So sharp and deep

I was my own enemy
“I crushed me” was the only feeling left
But the choice was within:

To stand still or fall