Woman: A “Senseless” Creature

I always wonder why work in our world has been divided for men and women. Can’t they do what they want according to their choice? Is it necessary that only women should do household work, and if men do, they may lose their prestige in society?

I am from India and I have been noticing since I was a kid how the women around me, including my mom, have been treated. Here, girls have been educated, but the ultimate goal is to get a good groom—and after marrying, your degree doesn’t matter, You just have to do household work. If your in-laws support it, you can work a job, but household work to be in the forefront.

In India, most people live as joint families and a daughter-in-law’s status is last among all family members. She has to take care of everyone, and for the most part, no one helps her.

Domestic violence is too common, even in upper middle-class families. Sadly, I am sure most women have been slapped by their husbands. Dowry is prohibited by law but gifts such as gold have been accepted, and brides have been chosen on this basis. The law doesn’t work. Many times newlywed girls have been informed that “Our neighbor’s girl had a certain amount of gold with her,” to let her know that she should think on it.

Every man likes a girl like Katrina or Kareena (popular Indian actresses), a modern girl who wears modern clothes and is bold. But when it’s time to get married, they would prefer to marry someone simple who follows his orders and is traditional.  She will take care of his parents and follow his commands.

If a girl can’t get married by the age of 25, it’s the biggest shame for both her and her parents. Society shows pity to her parents and it becomes almost impossible to attend family functions. If she faces harassment (when she is unmarried), she can’t complain or she will lose her character in society and won’t get a guy to marry her.

I have also seen many women almost never participate in her family’s financial matters, and If they speak up, the answer is: ” You ladies should stay away from all this. We men are here to look after this.”

Many aged women teach their daughters, “See, you are a girl, so sacrifice should be in your nature. Girls should do what their husbands say.”

I am not married but I have closely seen the lives and struggles of my mom, my sisters, and my aunt. I couldn’t understand them when I was a child, but once I matured, I began to wonder why things are the way they are! And to whom can I talk about it? How do I try to get out of this situation myself? Just the thought of living that kind of life makes me feel tense.

I know that I do not want to go through the same situation my mom has faced and that’s why I always wanted to be independent. Though I haven’t yet succeeded, my efforts will go on.   

I have faith that things can be a different way…for both myself and other women who know that they are so much more than the “senseless” creatures our society makes them out to be.