Doing Nothing Is Something

Don’t feel like “doing” today—I want to relax this morning after teaching my college class for four hours last night. I slept in. I looked at the clock. I rolled over. Permission granted to Self to take the day off.

My list of things to do can wait till tomorrow. Instead, I sip coffee in my pjs on the front porch and write while the birds sing and the soft breeze and checkered sunlight caress my neck ever so gently.

Ah, the luxury of musing and reflecting without deadlines, appointments, or obligations for the day. It’s simple and delightful, and so different from my former self, the Type A, overly responsible, overachieving Super Woman who tried and, at times, did do it all: single mother, professional career woman, wife, hostess, etc. Exhausting.

No more. I have officially retired my Superwoman cape, and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. My self has earned and deserves time without the requirements of work and responsibilities that compete for my time with me.

Putting me first is a relatively new experience after years of doing just the opposite for bosses, family, and friends. It’s very liberating and peaceful to not have to do anything. I never had that choice before, or so I believed.

How lovely to finally know what it’s like to be free and not have to answer to anyone but me; a heady thought indeed. Just floating for now. See where the current takes me. During my life, the raft has taken me over the falls (divorces, moves, layoffs), and I’m still here.

The fears and worries of those times no longer have power over me. I realize that I have learned survival skills on my life’s journey, but the angst isn’t worth it.

Is my glass full or empty? Both, I think: Full from my life’s experiences with some wisdom as I near my next birthday, and empty of the cares and struggles of the past—with space available now for what comes next.

Doing nothing for a day is good for something.