I Forgive Myself in Advance

It’s getting real. It’s getting intense. And my perfectionism is trying damn hard to kick in.

I have written a memoir, To the Moon and Back: A Childhood Under the Influence, and in the last month, we’ve finalized the book, created a behind-the-scenes video and a customized playlist, launched the pre-order campaign, revealed a bit of my “less than normal” past to clients who had no idea, and worked out details on my book tour events. Just a few details. Just a bit naked feeling. Just a good chance for my perfectionism to kick in.

I feel that I’m more anxious than usual. I notice my intense desire to GET THINGS SETTLED AND DONE! I watch my desperate need to control more things that I can’t control. And did I ever mention that I’m not that good at details? Well…I’m not that good at details.

I am terrified of messing this all up!

So today, I decided that I would forgive myself in advance: for every ball I might drop, detail I might miss, and person I might forget to email. I forgive myself in advance for my reactions when people react to the first chapter…and when they don’t. I forgive myself in advance for book events that don’t happen and media interviews I don’t get. I forgive myself in advance if I’m ever not gracious, or not gracious enough. I forgive myself in advance for that edgy feeling that’s staying with me a bit as more and more people read more and more about me. It would be great if I completely didn’t care what others think, instead of just mostly not caring.

I forgive myself. I forgive myself. I forgive myself in advance. I hope you can forgive me, too.

Because I wrote this book to share hope, love, and joy. I worked for nearly 20 years to make it as strong as I could and to find the right publisher…in order to share hope, love, and joy. I connect with everyone who reads my blog posts—and my posts on other blogs—in order to share hope, love, and joy. Therefore, I refuse to move through this process in fear of mistakes and mishaps. I refuse to stay anxious, afraid, and desperate. Instead, I choose to enjoy this process, to laugh at my mistakes, and to open my arms and heart to the excitement and fun.

I choose to forgive myself now in advance, and again and again and again along the way, if necessary.

Just for fun…will you join me?

About the Author | Lisa Kohn

Lisa Kohn is the author of a memoir, To the Moon and Back, due out September 18, 2018, that chronicles her childhood – growing up in the East Village of New York City in the 1970s and in the Unification Church (the Moonies). Lisa writes of her recovery from the emotional abuse and abandonment she faced, and her now life of hope as a thriving and happy mom, wife, and leadership consultant and coach. You can read more at her website, www.lisakohnwrites.com, where you can also download the first chapter of her book.

Leave a Reply

0 comments to "I Forgive Myself in Advance"