Bouncing Forward!

Birth to 2007.

A happy girl!
Full of life!
She couldn’t stop smiling and laughing!
Everyone loved her and she loved them back!
Life loved her and she loved it back!

2007 to 2015.

She lived over eight years of her life inside a room.
Abused mentally, emotionally, and verbally,

she developed generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), depression, and panic attacks.
Fear crippled her.
She couldn’t eat or sleep.
Even being able to visit the washroom became a luxury.
She had to count backwards from 100–1, sing nursery rhymes loudly…try anything, just to be able to distract herself to stay in the washroom for just a few minutes!
Nothing worked.
Anxiety wouldn’t let her sit still for a single moment.
Panic attacks wouldn’t let her live a single second without the fear of dying.
Depression wouldn’t let her feel good ever.
Her anxiety wouldn’t let her rest for a moment, and her depression wouldn’t let her get up!
She hated speaking to anyone, let alone meeting them.
Every day, she had to wipe away her tears, add a smile to her voice, and speak to her parents on the phone.
No, she shared nothing with them or with anyone else.
Her happy facade was in place!
Those who knew (her abusers) didn’t bother.
And those who bothered were not told.
She decided…
This was her battle!
And only she had to fight it!!
She was losing control of her body.
Her mind had stopped listening to her.
She was no longer herself!
Her days were limited primarily to three things…
Sleeping, crying and wishing for death!
So, one day, she finally decided…
Enough is enough!
Today, she would take a call!!
A Final Call.
She asked herself just one question.

“Do you wish to Live or Die?”
Fully prepared to hear a death sentence,
she was amazed when a faint yet determined voice from within answered…
“Live.”

This was the point from which she embarked on her journey to bounce forward!
No, there was no going back.
There was no question of bouncing back!
She was passionate for more!
Much, much more!
She did not wish to be the same happy person she was over eight years ago.
She was determined to be happier!
She was determined to be the best she could be!
Nothing and nobody could stop her now!

She took herself to a psychiatrist and started on her medication.
Along with this, she started positive self-talk on a daily basis.
Her head and her body refused to listen!
They were adamant about giving up!
However, she was adamant about not giving up!
She coaxed and cajoled herself, fought with herself, slapped herself, cried, screamed.
She did everything.
Except give up!

Gradually, she mustered enough courage and started to take few steps inside the room.
After several months of practice,
one day she decided to step out on the streets.
Her feet trembled, her heart paced, she could hardly breathe, she nearly fainted because of extreme fear.
She barely managed to get back to the confines of her room.
She was on the brink of going back to square one.
She was terrified.
Was it time for her to finally accept that her world would only be filled with fear, anxiety, depression, and tears?
No!
She decided!

“I have come this far, not just to come this far!”
She went back the next day and day after day and month after month to take short walks, until she was more confident.
She carried her medicines wherever she went…
She was prepared for the worst.
Yet, deep down, she knew…
This was her chance and she wasn’t giving it up!
She must win her battle with her own demons.

2016.
Finally came the day when she started walking without fear.
She started talking to people.
She started to smile.
To laugh.
To live again!

Not satisfied with her degrees from Miranda House and Delhi School of Economics.
Not satisfied with her long-lost career as a corporate trainer, she decided to further her education.
She had no money of her own.
She did not wish to ask her parents, though they are her strongest support system to date.
She decided to quietly exchange a gold bangle.
She joined and completed a diploma in psychological counseling.
She did a business practitioner course in NLP.
She got specialized training in corporate etiquette and grooming.
She worked in theatre and acted in a web series.

2017.

Today, she feels humbled and blessed to be able to combine all her skills as a trainer, counselor, NLP practitioner, actor, and above all, as a “HumanE” Being, to facilitate people in their professional and personal journeys toward leading happier, healthier, peaceful, motivated, and inspired lives!

She believes that her legacy is every life that she touches with love.

Yes, she continues to bounce forward and takes others along.
Everyone communicates.
She connects with people!
Her dream is to enable people globally to bounce forward in their lives!

This she is Me!

The Me, whose mission in life, in Dr. Maya Angelou’s words, is “not just to survive, but to thrive and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

About the Author | Arani Chakraborty

Arani Chakraborty is Everything yet Nothing!

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1 comment to "Bouncing Forward!"

  • Bijoy

    Gone through the story. It is a horrible story in the million of women’s life. This wonderful story will ensure them to live their lives again. A very big salute to the Author. Let her journey be blessed. Regards.