Rejection: one of the harsh parts of life.

If there is one experience that all us humans have faced in our lives, it would be the pain of rejection. It’s a bitter pain that makes you feel like an outsider. For some, the feeling of rejection is the closest they will ever get to the feeling of being discriminated against.

For as bad as it may feel, even rejection plays an important role in our lives. It builds character. It is a great teacher. It does not tell you who or what you should be, but instead lets you decide for yourself who or what you want to be.

Rejection will stand between you and your dreams. It will never fight you. All you need to do is to stare it in the eyes and keep going.

It was not easy when I was working as a model in Milan and later in LA. Castings were always full of beautiful girls. I was rejected in average nine times a day. That is a normal life of a model, being rejected. It either makes you or breaks you. In my case, each rejection just made me stronger. It made me realize that the only rejection I should fear is my own.

The only rejection you should fear is your own! Nobody can deny you your happiness – nobody except yourself.

There are dozens of quotes and sayings about being rejected. Choose one that relates well to you or to the situation. Put your best face on and try again with conviction. Always be certain that, this time, you will succeed.

Have you ever thought about how it feels to be in the other end of things? To be the one who has to do the rejecting? I have been hiring assistants for 20 years, and let me tell you, it feels as horrible to tell someone, “Thanks, but no thanks,” as it is to hear it – especially when I like that person, and she would be so good for the job.

Never think that rejection means you are not good enough. It may be just a matter of circumstances. Show determination and perseverance, and you will find your way.

I noticed that, many times, rejection has redirected me to something better. Maybe it did not happen immediately, nor did I always understand at the time, but now looking back over my shoulders I feel like each rejection was a blessing in disguise.

Even today, I still face rejection. Maybe not nine times a day, but still quite a lot. Because of my condition, paralyzed, not being able to speak, I face much prejudice. People think What good can anyone be to society like that? (Do not be surprised. Many people think like this, but I do not mind. It is not as they do it on purpose or they do it to be mean. They just do not know facts nor how to face someone like me – someone who is a little different – and I understand that is frightening and makes them uncomfortable).

Well, I can inspire like no other just by getting out of bed and trying again. Having a stroke and ending up in a paralyzed state was my destiny. The situation may seem helpless, but no. It is just one more obstacle to get over, no biggie.

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About the Author | Kati van der Hoeven

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