Who Even Am I?

Who even am I?

Name: Katelyn
Location: Little Rock, AR
Hometown: Pocahontas, AR
Eye color: Green…ish?
Hair color: Blondish brown…depends on the mood
Favorite food: Watermelon or fried okra
Favorite music: All of it, except country
Siblings: 1 brother
Parents: Yep, married for nearly 25 years and counting
Religion: Good question—grew up COC, found a baseline undressing in the Methodist religion…still seeking, always with God

Clearly, I can give you the basics; that’s about it. I have always believed in myself and always felt very attached to my inner being: a high sense of emotional intelligence, retrospective understanding of my core, devout empathy for others. But when you ask me who I am or who I want to be, I honestly have no clue.

With each new season of life, I find myself asking the question: Who am I, really?

I have come to learn that is the most important question I can answer. I know the following: I am an achiever; I have never met a to-do list I do not love, no matter the cost. My fear is I will continue through life thinking of myself as a checklist: job I enjoy (check?), financial security (check?), what is funny vs. what isn’t, etc. The thing is, there is so much in my life that I can’t check off. I find myself comparing those items to friends or colleagues, and it seems defeating.

For my whole life, I’ve heard, “You have it together.” What’s great is that, yes, I do have my life together. I’ve always been a bit of a fuddy-duddy in order to have certain aspects of my life together. However, I have to work to allow myself to explore who I truly am.

At some point, I realized: What would be the fun in life if we had it all figured out, all of the time? Recently, I committed to understanding the deeper meaning of my existence, purpose, and life as a whole. I am on a mission to lead a mindful and faith-filled life, experiencing all that God will allow and pouring into others along the way.

Roughly 30 days ago, I decided to pour into myself—to lean into myself, if you will. I hired a life coach, I adapted a new mindset when it comes to physical health and financial health, and I have been creating space to dream, all the while driven to deepen my relationship with Christ. It has been a lot of ME time. As selfish as it felt at first, I have come to learn that the journey begins and ends with God, with a deep belief in yourself and your abilities. You can transform your surroundings by aligning your passions and abilities with the mission God bestows. In these 30 days, I have learned a lot with respect to that question: Who even am I? However, I am not even close to fully cracking the code, and I find that exciting.

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About the Author | Katelyn Pfeffer

Katelyn Pfeffer believes in the power of people. She is passionate about aligning leadership and mindfulness. She is an avid theorist and strategist, drawing inspiration from the daily life lessons and stories of people and places she's never met.

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9 comments to "Who Even Am I?"

  • Merle

    Dear Katelyn,
    I love this! Me too, I am currently investing in myself, spending time with myself and actually enjoying it.
    It is an incredible experience and I feel like it’s just the beginning to a wonderful journey.
    I am so curious where our journeys will lead us.
    Love, Merle

    • Katelyn

      Merle –
      Isn’t it a wonderful ride? I agree. It is simply an incredible experience. The curiosity of where this will all lead is one of the biggest motivators to keep going, right? Every day is a new journey.
      Wishing you love and wellness <3


  • Gayle Burns

    Love this Katelyn! It takes many of us years to even admit that we are needing some meaningful purpose in our lives. I am still learning too each day I am blessed to get to experience:). I have some regrets that there were many days in my over 35 years teaching that I missed an opportunity presented by God to touch a student’s heart in a positive way. One thing I know, my career gave me this chance to try to make a difference from time to time. You are a beautiful person inside and outside as is Tyler and I know you both have much to give to others and will find God’s plans meant for each of you to follow.

    • Katelyn

      Your words. Wow. I cannot even express the gratitude I have for them. Thank you for sharing a piece of your story – beautifully said. Know that you have touched so many lives and will forever hold a special place in so many hearts. <3

  • Jan Ziegler

    I LOVE this! I only just finished it or I would have commented sooner. This is not surprising to me that you would write something so insightful and so profound It is you, unadulterated, uncluttered, unfettered, but oh so inspiringly you! What a meaningful step on your journey to you.

    • Katelyn

      “Your journey to you” – I love that. I’m keeping that as a note. It’s a beautiful and wonderful journey. Thank you for being my biggest fan and inspiration in every aspect of my life. Love you more than you know.

  • Ashley downen

    You are true rockstar. 💕 Loving this!!!

  • LK Petrus

    So much of this hit home for me too! What an amazing thing to know you’re not alone. All it takes is one brave soul, willing to be vulnerable.